You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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