I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
