Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
