How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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