3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
