At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize