She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
