What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
