im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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