If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
