I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
