she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
