It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
