sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
