i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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