we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
