Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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