Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
