I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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