the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
