I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
