thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
