So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
