It's just like the Real World with babies
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
