Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
