Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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