The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize