Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize