make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
