we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
