Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
