Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
