I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
