i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
