We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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