so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
