..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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