I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
