Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
