i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
