Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
