a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
