Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Congratulations! We have a period
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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