At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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