Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
