He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize