margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
