Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
