he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
