I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
