I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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