lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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