The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
