Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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