We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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