Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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