Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
