O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
