they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
