i jhust puked up my retainher.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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