You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
