it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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