Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is wine microwaveable?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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