Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
