This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
