I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
